Send Me

Man, a lot has happened since the last time I posted. This first year at college has consisted of me pretty much being lost. Lately satan has been feeding me lies and, in my weakness, I fell for them. “You’re not skinny enough.” “You’ll never find a husband looking like that.” “You’re annoying and obnoxious to other people.” We all have these lies that we feed into. I have spent too much time sulking in my weaknesses and God has been kicking me in the butt, telling me it’s time to kick it in gear. He’s been sitting right next to me watching me and selfishness, waiting for me to realize that He has the power to make me whole again. He has an amazing plan for my life and I’m sitting here sulking. WHAT AM I DOING!?

I’ve been reading in Matthew for the past few weeks and it has renewed a sense of urgency in me. Chapters 24 and 25 talk about Jesus’ return and here’s what went through my head when I read these chapters. “Wow, this isn’t a joke. Jesus really IS coming back, and I have NO clue when it’s going to be. Am I ready!? Jesus is telling me right here in scripture that I should be ready ALL the time. How serious am I taking this whole faith thing? Is my life showing that I TRULY believe?!” Reading these chapters reminded me of the fear I should, and do, have of God. Not a fear that He’s scary or what we usually think of, but a respect kind of fear. A fear that says, “I realize You have the power to either give me eternal life or throw me into an eternal fire.” That’s enough to make me shiver.

So God has renewed a sense of urgency and faithfulness in me, so where is that leading me? Actually, I feel called to a couple of places. I have ALWAYS felt a calling to Africa. I know that, God willing, I will make it there some time in my lifetime. He’s thrown me for a loop recently though. I thought I’d be going to Africa next summer, since I’m running out of time. I only have this summer and next summer before I start med school. But a friend messaged me about going on a summer project to Alaska. Alaska, really?! I had NEVER even thought about going on that summer project. I was too focused on Africa. For some reason it really got my attention though. The more I pray about it and the more I think about it, the more desire I have to go there. I’ve also been looking into going on a medical mission to Africa and I really think God is telling me that Africa is going to happen later in life when I have a medical degree. This isn’t at all how I had pictured things happening, but I’ve been keeping an open mind and everything seems to be falling into place. God works in funny ways doesn’t He?

I know my journey from here on out won’t be easy and I could really use your prayers! Although there is so much uncertainty as to what could happen, I’m excited to see where He leads me and how He uses me. J

The Big Picture

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” –Colossians 3:2-

This is something I’ve been struggling with lately. My mind has been so focused on earthly things it’s ridiculous. What are others thinking of me? Am I doing well enough in my classes? These are just a couple of the questions that have been flooding my mind lately. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the things of this world, especially now as I’m going through a big transitional period in my life. Everything that I’ve know is gone and it’s like I’m starting over again. It’s been really hard for me to answer these question that I’ve been asking myself, but God’s been trying to get it through my thick skull that it doesn’t matter how other’s think I’m doing. Am I doing everything for the glory of God? Are my thoughts and motives directed to the God who gave me life? These are the questions I should be focused on. I need to stop comparing myself to the people around me. Does their opinion really even compare to God’s? Definitely not! I need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize that time is ticking away and I’m sitting here worried about worldly things.

What would my life look like if I put less emphasis on my school work and started putting time into enjoying my time here and investing in the people here? I can honestly say that I’ve never regretted taking time from studying to talk with someone. I regret when I neglect people to study, though. I try to think of this when I’m debating on which I’d rather do. I agree that there is a time and a place to work hard and do your best academically for God, but don’t let it consume you. There is SO much more to life than text books and tests. Nobody is going to remember what you got on that first biology test, but they are going to remember the conversations and memories they made with you. So I guess the question I want to challenge you with is where are your priorities? What is consuming your thoughts? Is it worldly things? I know my thoughts and my priorities have been worldly, and that needs to change. There’s a bigger picture that I keep forgetting about, and God keeps reminding me to slow down and take that in. I hope you don’t forget that either. There is an opportunity for you to change someone’s life by the things you say or the things you do…don’t miss it.

College

I’ve never been much of a blogger, or someone who shares her thoughts through writing. I’ve recently given up facebook and I’ve found that there isn’t much else for me to do except read people’s blogs when I’m bored. So then I was thinking to myself, “Well Kaylee, you had to create this blog for an English class in high school and it’s just sitting here. You mine as well starting putting stuff on it, so it doesn’t look so ridiculous.” So here I am.

I am now a freshman at Wayne State College. I’m pursuing a degree in Clinical Laboratory Science. I have a lot of passion for science, and yes I know I’m a nerd. Challenging things that scare other people excited me. But recently this whole Science thing has been kicking my butt at college. The transition from high school to college is proving to be more difficult than I expected. I was used to getting really good grades and being on top in high school without really trying that hard. It all came pretty easy to me. College is definitely a whole different ball field. It seems no matter how much I study I’m still unprepared. It’s very frustrating for me, but I know I can do better. Once my brain gets used to the caliber of classes we will be good to go. I am not very patient sometimes and I feel like that’s what is happening here. I want to skip this whole “transition period” and just fit right in at college. It doesn’t work that way unfortunately.

It has definitely been a struggle these first couple months at college, but God is so good. There are so many amazing people here. God has put new friends in my life and I LOVE making new friends. That has also been a huge distraction for me at college too. I’m finding it hard to focus on school work when there are so many possibilities to be spending time with friends and meeting new people. I’m getting better slowly, very slowly. That is why I chose to give up facebook. I was finding so many things distracting, that I needed to discipline some aspect of my life. I am a firm believer in taking the time every now and then and disciplining yourself in some way. I did a devotion once where I had to fast from media for 40 days, and it was SO hard. It was so rewarding though. Everything else in my life seemed to fall into place, just because I was disciplining myself in that one aspect of my life. I am hoping that doing this fast from facebook will do the same.

So that is my life so far at college. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, some good and some bad. God is definitely working in my life and in the lives around me, and that’s exciting! I’ll leave you guys with my favorite verse.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. ~Hebrews 11:1~

Gym

The host of mass chaos. Everytime you're here it's sure to be exciting, rowdy, and maybe down right ugly. Losing your voice, cheering, and sitting with your friends is just a glimpse of the memories that take place here. Blood, sweat, tears, and unforgettable moments, good or bad have left a lasting impact on the players who practically live here. From hot summer days in the weight room to cold winter games, this place holds its fair share of memories for each and every person.

Lockers

Early mornings that drag on to days that fly by with amazing speed.
When I walk to this locker a lot of emotions flood through me.
As an underclassman not wanting to be here
To your senior year when you wonder where the days went.

The unforgettable locker buddies you look forward to seeing everyday
To the frustration of not being able to get the gosh darn thing open.
So many times I've stared at the books inside
And wondered which ones I had to take home that day, if not all of them.

They may seem innocent and harmless,
But little do you know I've had more than enough battle scars
And bruises from "wrestling" with it.
It's always a little sad each year when you move lockers
And the people that now surround you aren't the same.
Because that one locker, that one year, with those people can never be the same.

Where I Am From

I am from trailer parks and unsteady balconies,
From the park across the grass field and the mulberry tree.
I am from a village of drug dealers and late nights of testing myths.
I am from a school of small proportions,
From imaginations that run wild.
I am from numerous bikes and never ending flat tires.

I am from a green grand am and black ice air fresheners.
I am from a house of cigarette smoke and smelly clothes,
From "You're grounded" and "Check back in an hour."
I am from a lung cancer victim and a World War II veteran.
I am from barbies and super Nintendo,
From soccer to "hot lava."

I am from the lilac bush and the tiger lily snake haven.
I am from Timberlake and youth group,
From Joy Club and Awana.
I am from clutch trucks and Meatloaf CDs,
From "Gargoyle" and "Maylee."

I am from a dirt field with chalk lines,
From big bruises and leather gloves.
I am from a blue boat and Sherman lake,
From fishing and tubing.
I am from a teen mom and a high school drop out.
I am from eight hour school days and procrastination.