Send Me

Man, a lot has happened since the last time I posted. This first year at college has consisted of me pretty much being lost. Lately satan has been feeding me lies and, in my weakness, I fell for them. “You’re not skinny enough.” “You’ll never find a husband looking like that.” “You’re annoying and obnoxious to other people.” We all have these lies that we feed into. I have spent too much time sulking in my weaknesses and God has been kicking me in the butt, telling me it’s time to kick it in gear. He’s been sitting right next to me watching me and selfishness, waiting for me to realize that He has the power to make me whole again. He has an amazing plan for my life and I’m sitting here sulking. WHAT AM I DOING!?

I’ve been reading in Matthew for the past few weeks and it has renewed a sense of urgency in me. Chapters 24 and 25 talk about Jesus’ return and here’s what went through my head when I read these chapters. “Wow, this isn’t a joke. Jesus really IS coming back, and I have NO clue when it’s going to be. Am I ready!? Jesus is telling me right here in scripture that I should be ready ALL the time. How serious am I taking this whole faith thing? Is my life showing that I TRULY believe?!” Reading these chapters reminded me of the fear I should, and do, have of God. Not a fear that He’s scary or what we usually think of, but a respect kind of fear. A fear that says, “I realize You have the power to either give me eternal life or throw me into an eternal fire.” That’s enough to make me shiver.

So God has renewed a sense of urgency and faithfulness in me, so where is that leading me? Actually, I feel called to a couple of places. I have ALWAYS felt a calling to Africa. I know that, God willing, I will make it there some time in my lifetime. He’s thrown me for a loop recently though. I thought I’d be going to Africa next summer, since I’m running out of time. I only have this summer and next summer before I start med school. But a friend messaged me about going on a summer project to Alaska. Alaska, really?! I had NEVER even thought about going on that summer project. I was too focused on Africa. For some reason it really got my attention though. The more I pray about it and the more I think about it, the more desire I have to go there. I’ve also been looking into going on a medical mission to Africa and I really think God is telling me that Africa is going to happen later in life when I have a medical degree. This isn’t at all how I had pictured things happening, but I’ve been keeping an open mind and everything seems to be falling into place. God works in funny ways doesn’t He?

I know my journey from here on out won’t be easy and I could really use your prayers! Although there is so much uncertainty as to what could happen, I’m excited to see where He leads me and how He uses me. J